Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize