Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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