Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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