I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
