I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
