just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
