Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
