that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my god I love twenty year old dicks
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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