absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
