carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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