Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
