i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
