I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
