Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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