We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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