? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
