all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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