are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
