Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
