Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
