i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
