just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
