i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I had to cum in my sink.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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