Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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