return my video game
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
