ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
