sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
