You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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