you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
