just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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