I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im holly from the hills drunk
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
