the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
