The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
