Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
