Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
