What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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