we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
