Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
A+ Viking dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
