I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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