Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
