operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
