see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
