I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Come see our sink grown plant.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
