if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize