So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
