You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
