i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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