i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
