My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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