I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize