He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
