Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
