My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
