if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
