Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
