Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My bed smells like the plague
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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