and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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